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Notes from the Frontlines of Customer Service

 Hey y'all! It's been a minute! (a month actually) Posting here has not made my top priority list unfortunately for the last few weeks, but I figured I'd do something a little fun today.

I have been working at Starbucks, my first customer service job, for about two and a half months now. I thought it could be entertaining to chronicle one of the most recognized aspects of the customer service industry: the disparity between your thoughts and your words. Anyone who has ever worked in any sort of service capacity will know exactly what I'm talking about.

Scenario 1: the highly specific request

Customer: Could I have a strawberry refresher with coconut milk?
My thoughts: You mean a  pink drink? That's literally a separate thing on the menu.
Me: Sure!
Customer: Could it be 60% strawberry and 40% coconut milk?
My thoughts: *dial up loading noise*
Me: You know, I bet a pink drink will be just what you're looking for! I'll ring it up as one of those!

Scenario 2: the vague request

Customer: Coffee. Cream and sugar.
Me: Sure! Do you know about how many sugar packets you like?
Customer, annoyed: Can't you just put sugar in it?
My thoughts: Okay, so I can put 12 and you'll be fine with that?
Me: Okay, I'll put three.
Customer: NO, I want two!!
My thoughts: Wow, sounds like you know how many sugar packets you like, how interesting.
Me: Two it is!

Scenario 3: the sensitive customer

Me: Hello!
Customer, already pissed: I came in here earlier and no one greeted me!
My thoughts: When the fuck was this? Yesterday? Why are you taking that out on me?
Me: Oh my, I'm sorry!!!
Customer, as hurt as a kicked raccoon: Everyone had their heads down like *mimics people doing their job*
My thoughts: Wow, it's almost like we're busy and sometimes don't have the brainspace to stop what we're doing every three seconds to greet every person at the door. Did you come in during a rush, asshole?
Me, as if hearing a great tragedy: Oh, I'm sorry!!!
Customer: No one acknowledged me coming in at all!
Me, as if hearing a great tragedy: Oh, I'm sorry!!! What can I get for you today?
*customer orders, transaction is completed as normal, except this grown man is acting like a teenager who was turned down for prom*
My thoughts: Your life must be in a rough spot if you need the staff at Starbucks to affirm your self-worth
Me: I'm once again sorry about that, I hope you have a good day!
*customer leaves*
Coworker: What happened?
Me: He was butthurt that we didn't all shout hi when he came in during a rush
Coworker: pshhhhh

Scenario 4: moar plastic, plzzzz

Customer: Could I have a straw?
My thoughts: For your fucking hot drink?!
Me: Sure!
Another customer: Can I have a straw?
My thoughts: Starbucks literally designed their lids to be sippy cups. Why use a straw in a sippy cup lid?
Me: You sure can!
Third customer: Do you mind if I have a straw?
My thoughts: Yes.
Me: Not at all! Here you go!!
Fourth customer: Could I have a straw? I read that only 0.9% of straws end up in the ocean, so it's not the big deal that people say it is!
My thoughts: 0.9% of like a billion pounds of straws is still a lot. Plus, a lot of plastic pollution happens pre-production, meaning that the demand for any plastic product is fueling the microplastics problem. Each person now consumes about a credit card's worth of plastic a week, likely leading to increased rates cancer, infertility, birth defects, and god knows what else. Not using straws isn't really going to solve any problems, you're right, but it's a step towards more deliberate use of resources.
Me: Yeah, sure!

Scenario 5: sometimes, you do say what's on your mind

Man: Can I use your bathroom?
Me: Unfortunately, they're closed for COVID.
Man, enraged: CLOSED? SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO JUST PISS AND SHIT OUTSIDE? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO?
Me, out loud, fuck it: Yeah, I think that's your only option, go for it.
Man, silent, leaves.
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Comments

  1. BridgettelaApril 15, 2021 at 10:01 AM

    These straw people either 1 needs a reusable straw they carry with themselves or 2 those awesome cookies straws yall used to have.
    Also I drink all my coffee with a (reusable) straw. It cuts down on teeth staining.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa AnnApril 15, 2021 at 12:37 PM

      Oo, I see, well how about that. I had heard about people using straws to drink faster but not the teeth staining. Well, all the more reason to try to be nice to people even if I don't get it haha

      Delete

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