Skip to main content

Lisa Doesn't Actually Know Basic Cultural Information: Part 3, Episode 6

 Put on your space seatbelts, folks, and prepare to be as disappointed in me as Alex, who I believe may have questioned our engagement after reading this one. She asked, pleaded me, in fact, to search my memory for something, anything more about the original finale to the crowning achievement of science fiction cinema, but this is it, baby. Star Wars Episode 6: The One Where Barely Anything Happens, Apparently. Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

Luke realizes he must save Leia, and probably Han while he’s at it. He crashes Jabba’s house party, but then gets captured himself. Luckily, he is able to use all his Yoda-given training to win an arena-style fight that Jabba put him up to for the entertainment of his guests. Leia, who is dressed like the Star Wars centerfold edition, is rescued by Luke’s daring heroics, and they also get Han back somehow.

With his found family back together, Luke realizes it’s time to face his final objective: fight Darth Vader and win the space war for democracy!

They smuggle him into Darth Vader’s ship where Luke has an epic confrontation. He puts up a good fight at first, but is soon overpowered by Darth Vader’s skill and bolder colored light saber. Luke dangles over a precipice and Vader utters what is perhaps the most famous line in cinematic history.

“Luke, I am your father.”

Or something along those lines.

Luke screams, his face contorting with rage and horror, “NO! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!”

Darth Vader, not winning any father of the year awards, cuts Luke’s hand off to send him plummeting to the depths below.

Somehow Luke survives because 1) the light saber instantly cauterized the wound, so blood loss was no issue and 2) Luke landed on some pillows or something? I don’t know why the fall doesn’t injure him.

Then Luke makes his way to fight Darth Vader again, this time in Emperor Palpatine’s throne room. Palpatine enjoys the fight and encourages Luke. Luke wins, killing Darth Vader, who is raptured to heaven to stand on the right side of Ben, the Jedi Almighty. Palpatine realizes that Luke means fucking business and starts shooting lightning out of his fingertips.

Luke wins, I guess, I don’t really remember. At some point, he found out that Leia was his sister, so he goes back to watch Han and Leia’s wedding or something probably.

Also, everyone gets medals for their bravery! The movie ends with an awards ceremony.

The end…. Or is it?

Yep, that's it. I exhausted almost everything else I remembered about the Star Wars original trilogy in the other two movies. Was I correct to do that? Based on Alex's response, I suspect not.

What other pop culture should I put under the chopping block? Comment below to let me know! Also subscribe to my email newsletter for post notifications and life updates. Plus, check out my new Tumblr!

Until next time, may the Force be with You!

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fun Photo Friday May 28

 Hello friends! I stayed up to the late, late hour of 10 PM last night, so I am too tired to write an intro. So without further ado... What has Hazel been up to? She wedged herself under my knee. She really likes licking hands now. She's such a cute sleepy; I don't even have something clever to say. Hazel was doing some sort of workout when she noticed me watching. I tried to get her to meow while I was on the phone, but she was too sleepy. Up, up, and away to save the day! What have Hazel's friends been up to? Have you been thinking to yourself, "Wow, these pictures of Hazel are cute, but, like, there's got to be other cute animals out there." Well, turns out you're right! Hazel's friends are also dang cute! Introducing... a new feature of FPF! Let's look at today's spotlight- Juniper the rabbit! Juniper is an American immigrant (emigrant?) living in Sweden and also was inspired by my pile of bananas last week! Note the boop of a nose. In othe...
4 comments
Read more

Fun Photo Friday 3/12

 Hello loyal readers! I took a week off from blogging because I have been crazy busy with cooking, working, studying, and "gardening" (aka actually paying attention to my houseplants... I forgot that my spider plant could be vibrant green, not yellow-green!) Also, I have taken up a new endeavor, drumroll, please... Cello! I played cello as a fifth grader, but I have decided it's finally time to try again. Online lessons are a little less than ideal, though, on the bright side, I don't have to lug a four foot tall instrument to Fishtown. But anyway... What has Hazel been up to? She has been playing with her mouse and the side of the bed in various unflattering positions. But she also has been striking some dignified poses. She remembered that she has her own bed... Alex and I were shocked to find her in her bed for the first time in probably a year at least. She has not yet figured out the magic of pushing doors. In other news... Did you know you can make a sweet pie o...
2 comments
Read more

Address to 2021 Graduates

  Today some former students contacted me, telling me they had just completed the AP Latin exam. They wanted to thank me for the role I played in getting them to that point. It was touching to see that, even though I bailed on that career choice after only two and a half years, I had still made a lasting impact in the lives of some great kids. That got me feeling introspective about my decision to leave teaching in December 2019 and about the life I’ve led since. It had me wishing I could make a speech to that graduating class of Latin students, an opportunity I gave up when leaving halfway through their junior year. I realized I could still write it out, and, hey, maybe some of them will read this after all. Salvete, discipulae carissimae, Don’t worry, the rest of this is Anglice. When we met in August 2017, it was your first day of high school. It was my first day of having a job. This may come as a surprise because I made efforts to seem like I was an old hand in the classroom. ...
3 comments
Read more